Motorcycle Addiction

Even more serious than chocolate mania, is the growing epidemic of MA, or Motorcycling addiction. Don’t laugh because you might be it’s next victim. Just to give you a possible heads up in case it’s creeping up on you, here are a few question to quietly answer for yourself.

How many of these apply to you?

  • I have gone riding when I was depressed, or to cheer myself up.
  • I have gone on riding binges of several tanks of gas or more in a day.
  • I ride rapidly, often ‘gulping’ roads.
  • I have sometimes ridden early in the morning or before work.
  • I have hidden bikes in different places to sneak a ride in without being seen.
  • Sometimes I avoid friends or family obligations in order to ride motorcycles.
  • Sometimes I find myself analyzing sections of roads as if I was riding even while in cars.
  • I am unable to enjoy myself with others unless there is a bike nearby.
  • At a boring party, I will often slip off unnoticed to go riding.
  • Riding has made me seek haunts and companions which I would otherwise avoid.
  • I have neglected personal hygiene or household chores until I have finished a ride.
  • I have spent money meant for necessities on accessories instead.
  • I have attempted to complete an Iron Butt ride.
  • Most of my friends are heavy motorcycle riders.
  • I have sometimes passed out from a night of heavy riding.
  • I have suffered ‘blackouts’ or memory loss from a bout of riding.
  • I have wept, become angry or irrational because of a road I have ridden.
  • I have sometimes wished I did not ride so much.
  • Sometimes I think my riding is out of control.

If you answered ‘yes’ to three or more of these questions, you may be a motorcycle addict. Affirmative responses to five or more indicates a serious problem. Once a relatively rare disorder, Motorcycle Addiction, or MA, has risen to new levels due to the accessibility of higher quality motorcycles at a relatively low expense since the end of the Second World War. The number of motorcycle addicts and abusers is currently at record levels.


Abusers become withdrawn, uninterested in society or normal relationships. They fantasize, creating alternative worlds to occupy, to the neglect of friends and family. In severe cases they develop bad posture from riding in awkward positions or carrying heavy tool bags. In the worst instances, they become cranky bike mechanics in small towns.
Excessive riding during pregnancy is perhaps the number one cause of moral deformity among the children of Road Racers, Tourists and Posers alike. Known as Fetal Motard Syndrome, this disease also leaves its victims prone to a lifetime of vertigo, daydreaming and emotional instability.


Recent Harvard studies have established that heredity plays a considerable role in determining whether a person will become an abuser of motorcycles. Most abusers have at least one parent who abused motorcycles, often beginning at an early age and progressing into adulthood. Many spouses of an addict become addicts themselves.


Fathers or mothers who are road race fans, collectors, or heavy leather wearers; parents who do not encourage children to play games, participate in healthy sports, or watch television (other than Speedchannel) in the evening.


Pre-marital screening and counseling, referral to adoption agencies in order to break the chain of abuse. One percenters in particular should seek partners active in other fields. Children should be encouraged to seek physical activity and to avoid isolation and morbid introspection.

Kilde ukjent

This blond biker are using her right not to answer these questions in public …

Blondinen forbeholder seg retten til ikke å svare offentlig på noen av de ovenstående spørsmålene …

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